How can I ever begin to explain the sadness that I’m sure we all feel today? I can’t believe that Mémère is really gone. It seems impossible to admit that the inevitable has occurred. Just because we all knew that this day was coming — it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. As a child growing up, I knew that as long as she was here everything would always be alright. She was an extraordinary woman and obviously loved by so many. I know that we were all blessed by her presence in our lives. Just saying goodbye to her doesn’t seem to be enough.

I certainly have my memories of her. One of my favorites is just sitting in her living room chatting while she crocheted endless afghans — one of which I received soon after I had my first baby. I wrapped him and the 2 children that followed in that afghan — and to this day all 3 still fight over whose turn it is to use it! Even after all these years — I take comfort in the fact that Mémère’s love will be keeping them warm at night for a long time to come.

Her famous rice pudding still graces our table at least twice a month. Of course, the recipe has been adapted a bit and “dieted down” — but for sure each and every time I make it I think of times spent with her while I stir and stir that pot on the stove! Who can forget her fabulous hermits and the New England boiled dinners? One of my most favorite memories is having packages and packages of fish and chips unwrapped and spread all over her kitchen table while us out-of-towners feasted. I remember that her tiny kitchen would become overcrowded with people as word got out that we had arrived. I loved the fact that no one ever felt they had to knock on her door — they just came on in. That brings to mind simpler times than we live in today — times that I wouldn’t mind going back to right now. I can take solace in knowing that some of Mémère’s recipes are comforting my family at the end of the day. Even though she is gone — so much of her love and spirit continue to live on through each of us. As generations pass we bring to our families the experiences that helped to make us the people that we are today. The traditions and family values that she has passed on are a testament to her love for each and every one of us.

When something happens that makes me think of Mémère — she lives on in that moment for me. When I see something in my home from her — she lives on in that moment. When I look through my photo albums over the years — she lives on again. When I see my mother — who reminds me of Mémère in more ways than I can count — she lives on in that moment. When I talk to my sister — who is an RN just like Mémère was — I take so much pride in knowing that loving and caring for others is a family trait — and again — Mémère lives on in that moment. I have to believe that Mémère’s influence is one reason why my Aunt, cousin, and myself have all gone into child care. It’s the family trait of loving and caring for others that Mémère passed down to her children and grandchildren that is proof to me that she will continue to go on forever. I believe that God, in his infinite wisdom, has found this way to help those of us left behind to better deal with our sorrow.

I don’t feel like I should look at today as a loss. I am so happy that Mémère is in a better place now. I celebrate the fact that she has been called home. I wish her godspeed in finding her way back to Pépère, and ask and pray that together they will watch over us — loving and guiding us. I know that one day I will see her again — as hopefully, we all will. It is faith and trust in God — something that will live on through me and my children because Mémère gave it to my mother first — that I will look to today for solace and strength.  I leave all of you today with these final thoughts — and hope that you can take as much comfort in them as I do. Please take a moment now and close your eyes and picture Mémère saying these words from above:

Don’t stand by my grave and weep
For I am not there—I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond’s glint on newfallen snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush—
Of quiet birds in circle flight.
I am the glimmering stars at night.

Do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there—I did not die.
Anonymous

6 August 99

Today we are here to commemorate the life of my mother, a person who positively touched and influenced the lives of many people. Although sad because she is no longer with us we want to recognize her accomplishments and applaud the manner in which she lived her life.

To some, the title was Mrs. Walker, to others it was Aunt Loretta or Mémère, to my father it was Loretta and to my sisters and I, it was simply Ma.

My mother lived a long a good life. The following is a brief synopsis.

1. Although coming from a loving family, her childhood was difficult in the fact that she was the youngest of 16 children. Finances were tight, times were tough and some of her childhood years were spent in an orphanage.  I can remember my mother telling me stories of Sunday afternoons at the orphanage when she and her brother Francis would be looking out of the window, toward the street, praying to have visitors.
2. My mom received an education at a point in time when it was difficult for anyone to receive an education and even more difficult for a woman to do so.
3. In 1939, she married my father and for the next 30 years she worked many long hours at the hospital while raising the four of us in a manner consistent with her beliefs in Catholic teachings.
4. Thirty years ago this year, in 1969, my father died. At that point my mother entered a new phase of her life. Her children were adults and were now leading their own lives. Although Cookie would live upstairs shortly, my mom now lived alone. My mother took advantage of her new situation and began activities that would occupy her time. These activities included hobbies as well as travel. The trip that was most memorable to my mother was when she went to the Holy Land. This fulfilled one of her life-long dreams.
5. Over the next three decades, although I doubt anyone realized it at the time, my mom was becoming the nucleus of what was becoming an extremely large extended family.

A few nights ago, my sisters and I shared several hours of our best
memories of our mother. We would like to share a few of them with you.

Julie fondly remembers:

1. A trip my mother took to Florida when she spent 2 months visiting her.
2. The countless hours of Pinochle games that were patiently played between Chuck and my mother.

Arline fondly remembers:

1. The several vacations she took alone with my mother.
2. The several shopping trips they shared.

Cookie fondly remembers:

1. The daily encounters they shared over the last 30 years.
2. Buying and then sharing blueberry muffins on Sunday mornings after Mass.

The trips they shared visiting Aunt Blanche and going to the beach.

I will always remember:

1. A 2-week vacation, in 1970, when my mom and I drove to Cypress Gardens in Florida. In Florida, she met a man she had no interest in – and who continually flirted with her. My mom’s nervous laughter and embarrassment in dealing with this situation for 2 days, at the age of 56, was something I’ll never forget. It was a source of endless entertainment for the both of us.
2. Her many vacations visiting Diane and I and our children – no matter where we lived in the United States.

Arline was concerned that “a part of my mother” would now disappear forever.   Arline was referring to the traditional holiday and everyday kitchen activities involving; mom’s home made pies, rice pudding, lemonade and applesauce. Much to our surprise, we discovered that at least one of our families continue to carry on all these French culinary delights. My sisters and I all have fond memories of the following:

1. The practical jokes that my father continually would plan on others.  Although NEVER involved with the active planning of these jokes, my mom would ALWAYS passively approve.
2. The weekly card games that went on for years and included many of our relatives.
3. The many summer visits to the Quigley home n New Jersey.
4. The many vacations with Gert and Lil.
5. The endless and many Scrabble games between my Aunt Ora and my Mom.

My sisters and I remember my mother as:

• A woman of great faith
• A woman of great integrity and honesty.
• A woman who believed in treating everyone fairly and equally.
• A mom who believed in the value and merit of her children receiving a Catholic education and sacrificing much to have all 4 of us educated in Catholic elementary schools and Catholic high schools.
• A woman who valued family and lived her life demonstrating family values.
• A woman who loved unconditionally and was loved by all who knew her.
• A mom, a mémère and a grandmémère who cherished her time with her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

We feel so fortunate to have had such a mom and wish others could be as fortunate. Our mom paved the way for all of us and for that we are forever grateful. We view our mom as a role model, a gem and our saint. There is no doubt in our minds, she now experiences the joy and happiness she so deserves. In closing, I think it is most appropriate to ask for God’s blessing on Mom and end this talk with the words my mother continually stated in the last 2 years of her life. She also stated these words during the last hour before she died:

“Amen, Amen, Amen!"

In remembrance of Loretta Walker this tree will be planted at her home for her family and friends to enjoy.
We chose a tree to represent what a strong person our Mémère was.
We chose one that flowered to represent both her inner and outer beauty.
We feel that this tree will provide both shelter and comfort for anyone around it, just as our Mémère did.
Please take one of these wishing stones and hold it tightly.
As you do, please think of a fond memory, or say a prayer, or make a wish for Mémère.
All of the love and wishes we feel for her will forever be held in these stones.
They will be placed at the base of this tree when it is planted.

Thank you,       
Dianna & Chérie